Planning a trip with a child who has extra needs can be daunting.
You have a vision in your head for your family's time away.
You can also hear that small (but persistent) voice inside, reminding you that travel is just.not.easy.
Let's work through it! You know I love numbered bullet points for turning chaos into clarity...
There is a conversation to be had with all adults with whom you will be traveling. Don't book that first reservation until you've had this conversation:
What are your expectations for this trip? Are you seeking deep relaxation? Adventure? A change of scenery? Quality family time? A combination of the above? Please, please, talk this out. Expectations are sneaky and the disappointment from unmet expectations ruins a trip faster than anything else... except maybe sunburn. If you have older children, they can certainly be included in the conversation.
Once you are clear on your travel wishes and goals, you can start to address the extra needs that might appear as roadblocks. In my conversations with parents, the following areas of concern rise to the top - but of course the details will be unique to your child:
Safety - Is your person a runner? Does a beach house with 26 doors really sound like a good time or would a hotel be easier? Is a lake vacation for a non-swimmer really where it's at? Does your child need 24/7 supervision and can you provide that while still having fun? Do you need extra hands and can you secure them (family members, travel sitters, a Kids Club at the destination)? Sometimes having extra hands (and eyes) solves ALL the other problems. Worth thinking about, at least.
Medical needs and healthcare - Does your destination have the type of treatment facility that you would need in an emergency? If your child has mobility challenges, are you comfortable with the accessibility piece?
Food - If your child has food allergies or sensitivities, are you able to bring or buy the food s/he will need? Are there caterers in the area who can help you get rolling for the week? Eating at "home" while traveling can save a lot of stress but it does require planning. Look for familiar take-out options, too!
Psychological - Can your child handle what the rest of the family can handle? If you have extra hands, the "divide and conquer" approach can be magical... but it also means someone is missing out at all times. (My husband and I have just learned to be OK with that.) If you are thinking about tickets for an activity or excursion, have you fully researched what is involved and how it might strike your child? (It's definitely OK to try and fail but give the research a good shot up front!) Children with intellectual disabilities are sometimes super easy going and sometimes very inflexible, with a spectrum in between. Maybe the airport just adds too much. Maybe the family van is safer. And so on...
That was probably tiring (and anxiety-producing) to read. It's not meant to be but we do have to sift through a lot of stuff before we launch. Confront the monkeys! Things can get easier with time and your options may increase... try not to overreach. DO WHAT WORKS. There's a destination that's right for your family and people will be glad to help you, if you ask. (Mamas - if you ask! Use those advocacy skills!) Happy trails!
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